A Father's Rite!

It's been 6 months 11 days 6 hours and 22 minutes and you still will not leave me alone with my child. When the baby was born I was right there, when the baby took the first breath outside of the womb, I was right there. Why can't we bond on a deeper level, I'm halfway responsible for the life of our child...as a matter a fact I am 100% responsible because it is my job to protect this child from the world as best I can and that includes you. I know that you have the same mentality so why can't we compromise? When its time to buy diapers, its part of my responsibility. When its time to buy formula, its part of my responsibility. I want to honor the other part of my responsibility as well. I want to build the foundation that will lead to the next president of what ever God sees fit. Our challenge will always be to push aside our pride for the sake of our child. When I was a boy, the bond between me and my father was something I longed for. His responsibility was to bring money home to feed the family. Don't get me wrong, I loved my father for that. However, I am a little different. I want to build that bond that will take me beyond the days when I can no longer earn a dollar. I want to start that bond right now. For months, I have dreamed of the day our child would say the words, "Daddy". Right now, I am just the guy that helps mom out from time to time. Before you start, understand this because of my mother, I understand the bond between mother and child. Its not a bond I'm trying to break nor am I trying to replace it. I want a father's right.

Its been 3 years, 7 months, 15 days, and 10 minutes since the birth of our child. I did not handle the situation as perfectly as I could have. Lets be honest, I handled it horribly. I let my longing for closeness cloud my judgement. I know you hate me for the things that I have put you through. I have apologized so many times and believe me I know an apology will not take back my actions. I felt as though we had drifted apart. Conversations should have been held until we were able to come to a solution. That did not happen. So here we are now. Me not being able to see my child and you hanging up the phone every time we start a conversation. I get it, the relationship between you and I was damaged significantly. I know its not the right time to be selfish but my love for our child will keep your phone ringing and mail coming to your house. I am refocused. I am dedicating myself to having a strong relationship with my child. I cant take it back. Its 7 months since I have been able to feel the breath of my offspring cruising through the follicles on my neck. I know in your eyes I probably should not have any rights. I have to keep fighting for a father's right.

Its been 8 years, 4 months, 6 days, and 52 minutes since the birth of our child. You don't want our child around because of her. As a father, you have to know that I would not bring our child around someone who I felt would do harm. Besides, I thought you and what's his name were doing very well. Take it for whats its worth but I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy. If I had it my way, we could both show up at PTA meetings and make sure that our child is getting the best out of a public education. But, we are here. We cant be in a room longer than 5 minutes without words of angst exchanged. I know I hurt you all those years ago. I hoped that we could put aside our romantic relationship so that our child could have a better relationship with both parents. I admit my faults. At that point in my life I knew that I would make a better father than boyfriend/husband. I know it does not sound like something you want to her but its the truth. What can I do to create a better relationship for us? I don't want our child to believe that a mother and father cant be parents unless they are married and live under the same roof. That would have been great if things turned out that way but we are where we are. I cant take it back but I'm going to try to make our parent interactions better for the sake of our child. On that day a little over 8 years ago our lives were forever changed. With this change came great responsibility. At times, I did not handle it with greatest maturity. I'm here now embracing my responsibility more than ever. Not as a man but as a father.


Sincerely,


A Father