Erotica High School

I want to be able use my tongue to write in cursive all over her body. I want to spell every noun and even every syllable correctly. I don't care about grammar because these sentences will have no ending. Then I would use the simplest of mathematical equations to divide her legs apart. Once I start multiplying tongue x saliva x lips/mouth, she will probably resemble something like paranormal activity. She told me she thinks she has out-of-body experiences, but I think she's just being dramatic. Nevertheless, she plays the role of a woman who has just gone into shock and has to be sustained by the good doctor like on Grey's Anatomy. I use my tongue to paint the picture of ecstasy. This is a skill that I take seriously, so when I'm creating a masterpiece I sometimes zone out. After eyes rolling back, sheets gripping, back arching, and attempting to climb the headboard, it was time for this royal rumble between two great athletes. First I would start off trying to pin her down to make her submit but she loves being physical so she welcomes the challenge. It would seem that I learn something new every time our bodies move toward one another, away from each other, and rotate in circular motions. She is on top using parts of her body that track and gymnastics have molded into a machine. I want to give in but if history has taught me anything, I want to make sure she is on the cusp of her climatic revolution before I even think about waving the white flags. Yes! That sounds like streets rumbling, buildings shaking, and finally bombs bursting in air. The aftermath has left us weakened and disoriented but we know that it was worth every second for our sexual freedom. 

Side Chick

They have been there since the beginning of time. Some have referred to them as hoes, sluts, bitches, and any other unflattering name they could think of at the time. There are really three types of side chicks. Ones that don't know that they are side chicks, ones that believe if they stay with him long enough she will be the main chick, and the one that loves to be the side chick just for the thrill of it.

Let's first address the "I did not know" I was a side chick. While I can sympathize with this person, I cant get over the fact that some type of sign did not smack you right in the face. If you are just friends with benefits then this should not apply to you. But, if you have never been to his house after being together for more than two months, there may be a problem. No matter what he tells you, unless his kids or mother lives with him, he will invite you over. A man wants to be in his home with a woman that he's kicking it with. Its about territory and being comfortable. If you have an out of town relationship and he always wants to meet you halfway at a hotel, you might be a side chick. If the only time you see him is after 9pm on the weekend and he does not have a second job, you might be a side chick. If he only takes you to dinner on different side of town, you might be a side chick.

Now, lets address the "he told me they were almost over." You know that one that you get involved with that has stipulations to why they are not totally single. You probably should catch them at another time. These are the women that say stuff like "he told me he was going to leave her!" Or, "they live together but it's basically over." Are you really in that much of a rush to fall in love that you can't wait until the situation is over? Or, are you really more like our third side chick than you're willing to admit? 

Lastly, the side chick that loves the thrill of having something that does not belong to them. You remember that song "I'm in the same room with you and your girlfriend and the fact that she don't know really turns me on." These women are slick because 9 times out 10 they are all about business. They don't care for commitment; they like to come and go as they please. These are probably the same women that can be your best friend. Cooler than a fan, always the first girlfriend to tell you that you're over reacting about this whole love thing. 

I could probably go on and on about each one but I will keep it short and sweet. I wrote this just to write it. So, ladies if you are one of the 3 before mentioned and you're good with your life then keep doing you. If however you would like to change your life today, we have started a side chick rehabilitation program. For more information, please contact the Main Chick Society. They have a program for you. 

Thanks,

EmotionalStimulation™ 

How do you tell a man he has a small penis?

That was an interesting question asked by one participant at the Shop Talk forum. There were those that say you can tell him gently. "Hey, it feels good but have you thought about getting a little bigger?" One participant was very adamant about telling him the truth to set his ego straight. I dont think its a bad thing to have confidence with a small penis. I think it would be a major turn off for a woman to have a man with a small penis and does not have a lot of self confidence. But, Im just a man. What do I know?
Then there are those that say, "size does not matter, its about the motion in the ocean." A few people, both men and women, have also said that love is stronger than the size of the penis. Maybe love can conquer all. Personally, I dont think there is a really good way to tell a man he has a small penis. I dont think you should tell him at all. Just leave him alone if he doesn't satisfy you. Just my opinion though. 

A Father's Rite!

It's been 6 months 11 days 6 hours and 22 minutes and you still will not leave me alone with my child. When the baby was born I was right there, when the baby took the first breath outside of the womb, I was right there. Why can't we bond on a deeper level, I'm halfway responsible for the life of our child...as a matter a fact I am 100% responsible because it is my job to protect this child from the world as best I can and that includes you. I know that you have the same mentality so why can't we compromise? When its time to buy diapers, its part of my responsibility. When its time to buy formula, its part of my responsibility. I want to honor the other part of my responsibility as well. I want to build the foundation that will lead to the next president of what ever God sees fit. Our challenge will always be to push aside our pride for the sake of our child. When I was a boy, the bond between me and my father was something I longed for. His responsibility was to bring money home to feed the family. Don't get me wrong, I loved my father for that. However, I am a little different. I want to build that bond that will take me beyond the days when I can no longer earn a dollar. I want to start that bond right now. For months, I have dreamed of the day our child would say the words, "Daddy". Right now, I am just the guy that helps mom out from time to time. Before you start, understand this because of my mother, I understand the bond between mother and child. Its not a bond I'm trying to break nor am I trying to replace it. I want a father's right.

Its been 3 years, 7 months, 15 days, and 10 minutes since the birth of our child. I did not handle the situation as perfectly as I could have. Lets be honest, I handled it horribly. I let my longing for closeness cloud my judgement. I know you hate me for the things that I have put you through. I have apologized so many times and believe me I know an apology will not take back my actions. I felt as though we had drifted apart. Conversations should have been held until we were able to come to a solution. That did not happen. So here we are now. Me not being able to see my child and you hanging up the phone every time we start a conversation. I get it, the relationship between you and I was damaged significantly. I know its not the right time to be selfish but my love for our child will keep your phone ringing and mail coming to your house. I am refocused. I am dedicating myself to having a strong relationship with my child. I cant take it back. Its 7 months since I have been able to feel the breath of my offspring cruising through the follicles on my neck. I know in your eyes I probably should not have any rights. I have to keep fighting for a father's right.

Its been 8 years, 4 months, 6 days, and 52 minutes since the birth of our child. You don't want our child around because of her. As a father, you have to know that I would not bring our child around someone who I felt would do harm. Besides, I thought you and what's his name were doing very well. Take it for whats its worth but I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy. If I had it my way, we could both show up at PTA meetings and make sure that our child is getting the best out of a public education. But, we are here. We cant be in a room longer than 5 minutes without words of angst exchanged. I know I hurt you all those years ago. I hoped that we could put aside our romantic relationship so that our child could have a better relationship with both parents. I admit my faults. At that point in my life I knew that I would make a better father than boyfriend/husband. I know it does not sound like something you want to her but its the truth. What can I do to create a better relationship for us? I don't want our child to believe that a mother and father cant be parents unless they are married and live under the same roof. That would have been great if things turned out that way but we are where we are. I cant take it back but I'm going to try to make our parent interactions better for the sake of our child. On that day a little over 8 years ago our lives were forever changed. With this change came great responsibility. At times, I did not handle it with greatest maturity. I'm here now embracing my responsibility more than ever. Not as a man but as a father.


Sincerely,


A Father

Freaks vs Hoes

Now, I don't have a Webster's dictionary but I have an opinion. I believe there is a stark difference between a freak and a hoe (whore). Let me explain.

Hoe (whore): For me it's someone who really doesn't enjoy sex, yet they continue to engage in sexual activities whenever and wherever. If you ask a hoe why they had sex with that person or persons, nine times out of ten the answer will be "I don't know" that is assuming that it's not a exchange for cash event. Although, they can't be separated that much, adding cash is the direct reason for sex. The "I don't know" people usually see sex as an event that has to take place because that's what people do. They are not emotionally attached to sex. Now, it is possible to not enjoy sex but have sex with someone because you love them. Those people i would not consider under the guidelines of being a hoe. According to my description, men can be hoes as well.

Freak: a freak is someone who indulges in the Intricacies of sex as it pertains to all 5 senses. And for the comedians, if you're deaf, blind, or vocally challenged, you can still be a freak. For a freak , there is always a reason why they have sex. It may change from time to time but there is always a reason. Oh and yes, you can be a freak if you have had sex with one person for your whole life. Being a freak is not about how many partners you have, it's purely about the sex. A freak can turn what some may deem "gross" to a night filled with multiple orgasms. 

I know for some it's hard to fathom that having sex with multiple people does not make you a hoe. Freaks have been mislabeled as something bad...as something that is not becoming of a decent human being. Some people think it is synonymous with hoe (whore). I would gather that these are people that have been misled about sex in general.

For the fellas out there, don't condemn your woman because the next man will not. If your woman wants to be a freak or is a freak go with the flow. Sure you're going to have your limits but cross that bridge when you get there. After all, it is "yours". You should be able to smack it, lick it, and turn it upside down and inside out. 

For the ladies, same thing applies...if you will not, the next woman will. Don't be afraid to explore yourself and your partner. However, if you find this is not what you like and your partner really likes it, then prepare for some obstacles. I'm not saying it will be a deal breaker, but it can make the relationship a lot more difficult.

I hope I have helped somewhat in this ongoing battle of Freaks vs Hoes

The Break Up! Part 3

A couple of hours has past now. My phone vibrates, a text message from you know who appears.

The last sentence read, "I hope that one day, you can really see that."
Right now I can't respond. I don't want to fall back into the same routine. I read it again. I’m starting to doubt my decisions. Maybe this time the light will go on...maybe this time she will fully commit. She just needs to know how much I love her. She needs to know that I can be that rock she can lean on through good and bad times. Wait, she has had two years to realize what we can be. Someone once said that the definition of stupid is to continue doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. I've pasted a few grades, made a few honor rolls, and shook the president of my university's hand as I walked across the stage. “Naw,” that’s not me. However, when dealing with emotion, love can make the smartest person look stupid. In the past I would have responded and we would have sent texts back and forward to each other until we reached the, I still love you phase. Then we start to have the conversation of “we should just start over” I never understand why people say that when a relationship has ended. All that means is another 3 months of the representation then after that, they fall back to being the same person. I guess I just don’t understand it but I don’t think many people will understand why I had to do what I did. I can’t concern myself with what other people think. I just have to do what’s best for me. And, what’s best for me is my happiness. I put the phone away and continue to watch the afternoon Sportscenter. I’m not going to respond this time. It's time for a new day.

The Break UP! Part 2

She looks back one last time as the door closes. I walk towards the door. My hand reaches up but I quickly put it back down by my side. I can still hear her crying. If this were a movie, I might go something like, me opening up the door and her leaping into my arms. Then we embrace in a passionate kiss and somehow both of our clothes fall off and we are back to loving each other again. But this is real life. In real life relationships are ended with one person emotionally unstable or both emotionally unstable. I finally hear the sound of a car door opening. A few minutes pass before I hear the car start. Usually when she left my house I would tell her to let me know that she made it home safe. Although, it would kill me if something happened to her, I must let her go. The sound of a car engine now fades away. My adrenaline is still pumping. I take a moment to let my body calm down. A moment of relief passes over me. "It's done!" I have played that scenario in my head a thousand times. It's never easy to tell people the truth about a life they think their living. It’s also never easy to let go of someone you love. Someone who at one point you thought you might spend the rest of your with. I clean up the broken mug and rearrange my coasters. Cleaning helps me workout my emotional stress. It allows me time to think back to when she could do no wrong. It's quickly countered by thoughts of when she would leave me dying inside from doing nothing. It’s been almost 30 minutes and I have not received a text message nor a phone call. It only takes her ten minutes to get from my house to her house. The right thing to do is to just send a text to see if she made it home safe. I begin to write the text. This phrase begins to pop up in my head. “DON’T DO IT!!!” As if it was lyrically articulated by Andre 3000 himself. I realize that I have to talk this out with someone. I make that phone call to my boy.

Me: I told her it was over bruh
Calvin: how did she take it?
Me: hard, thought it might come to blows
Calvin: I told you, ha ha ha.
Me: yeah, I'm lucky im kinda quick
Calvin: how you holding up though
Me: I'm cool, it was time
Calvin: what are you going to do now?
Me: I don't know......