Cooking

I dont know about anyone else, but a woman in the kitchen making her man a nice meal is sexy as hell. Its not just the fact that she is cooking but that she is cooking for someone. She takes her time and will put that extra care in it for him. The way she chops up spices while she stirs this pot and that pot is very erotic. The aroma coming from the kitchen is enough to make a man stand at attention. Thats of course if she really knows what she is doing. It must stem from my belief that a woman must be able to multitask very well. Its been said that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach-well that is partly true. It will keep him coming back to that table. Not sure it will make him fall in love tho. I think R. Kelly had the right idea; he believed that sex in the kitchen was a major turn on. I would have to agree with him. He must have had that lady in his life that was throwing down in the kitchen. Am I being sexist? I dont know, but I do know that I like what I like. Thats a woman taking great pride to make sure her dude is satisfied. 

"Emotionally Unavailable"

What does this really mean? I mean men say this women say this. I'm "assuming" that most of the time it means that they are still in love with their ex. Its also something people say right before they say stuff like, "I like hanging out with you, I don't want that to stop." They follow that up with, "its up to you tho" Psychologically for any human that means, in time they may be ready for a relationship. After all, relationships take time to build. I've been there before though--being "emotionally unavailable" meant that I was still holding on to what once was. Now, the other explanation could be that the ex has left their heart for dead--scarred them so bad that they don't want to go through that EmotionalStimulation again. Its hard to emotionally let go. Its that vulnerability that is very scary. Letting another person pull the strings on your emotional well-being is scary even if you have deemed the relationship toxic. What happens when you give that person time and they still are "emotionally unavailable"? Most of the time it ends in frustration and resentment. Human emotion sometimes can take words and put them in their pockets only to be washed out with all the other unnecessary things in their lives. In other words, people feel how they feel and words are just temporary afflictions. I will admit though that spending time with someone while being 'emotionally unavailable" is a recipe for confusion, miscommunication, and sometimes emotional bewilderment. 

Marriage is a religion?!

Marriage has become a big topic of discussion lately. It could be because my circle is getting older so its on most of our minds. I have always believed in marriage. I thought I would be married by the age of 25, kids by the age of 27 or 28. ummmmm, well, those ages has come and gone and no kids and no wife. However, my opinion of marriage has not changed though; i still want to get married and have kids. The thing that has changed though, is my understanding of what marriage is and should be in my eyes. I believe that marriage is a religion. I know most people are saying, "marriage cant be a religion". I understand their argument. I really do. But, people have to believe in marriage as something beyond themselves. Its a partnership that extends beyond death. Yes I said it, "death". Yes people get remarried but do people really put their heart and soul the second or third time around? People should fight hard for something that they have pledged their life to because after all "til death due you part" should mean something. Im not saying that if someone is breaking their vows that the other person should stay with them no matter what. But, Before they get down on one knee or how ever they do it...they should believe marriage is a religion. If you believed this, you would not take lightly the concept of  you're choosing the person you want to be with for the rest of your life.  You would believe that taking on all challenges in life with this person by your side, behind you, and in front of you is what marriage is all about. You would also understand that marriage is not going to be perfect. You're going to go through many ups and downs. You also have to realize that many of those downs are going to be because of something that really has nothing to do with the relationship. Moreover, people should have faith that they can get through rough situations.

More to follow on this discussion though, so stay tuned. 

Kiss! shhhhhhhh!

As I watched this movie the other day, I started to wonder if you should tell or not. Im all for telling if you have cheated on your significant other by having sex with another person. Here is where the dilemma comes in for me. If you were to kiss another person should you tell or not? A kiss can sometimes be more intimate than sex but a kiss is easier to do than to go through the process of taking off clothes and exchanging sex faces. If you tell, your significant other may never trust you again. You may have been caught up in the moment and you realized, this is not what I want and it will never happen again. Sometimes you have to experience things to know if they are really for you or not. Do you tell them because you dont want any secrets and you want them to be able to trust that you will not lie to them? Maybe you want to be totally honest to ensure that that kiss reaffirmed your feelings for them. Would you take a chance on losing that person forever or spare what you believe to be insignificant in your feelings toward your significant other?

In Love?

How do you really know if your in love with another person? People use this term a lot. "im so in love him/her" In the movies you see the couple running towards each other in the end. Is that what its like? Do you have to love someone first before you fall in love or is love just the aftermath of the high that you have just been on?

When is the right TIME?!

Most women have a rule about the "right time" to have sex with the person their dating. I'm not that big on those rules. To me its almost like saying, "Hun, we can only have sex on Tuesdays and Thursdays." Emotional freedom is most important. I know what some may be thinking, "what if he or she leaves afterwards?" Well I say this, if its good, then they will be wanting to meet your parents by breakfast time. So if that guy or girl up and left you after that first time, then it might not have been that good. I'm not saying that you should have sex on the first night because there is no point in waiting. I'm merely saying that "good good" will keep them coming back. Its alright to get to know people by all means but do not put a time limit on getting to know someone. I know there are popular books that state you should have all of these rules before you do this or do that and blah blah blah. The real deal is, its not that you have changed the rules once you are dating someone new, its the fact that you have changed the people you date all together. The next person you date and feel like you are physically ready to make that next step, make sure that that person is someone that you can look back and say "I'm alright with having sex with him/her". Every person that you have sex with may not be your husband/wife. That's sometimes the ebbs and flow of life. But, you also need to prepare yourself for those times that it does not work out. You need to be comfortable adding that person to your total number of sexual partners. In conclusion, there is no generic right time. Its only what you feel comfortable with. Just understand that no body can feel your comfort like you can.