Too Eager!

You meet someone while you're out. The person seems cool. The first conversation goes well. You guys seem to be on the same page. The second conversation starts the same way. However, somewhere in between where do you see yourself in 5 years and and your ex, this person has discovered that you may be the one. While your glad someone is into you, it seems a little premature to profess feelings. You knew that late night conversations sometimes pulls down the walls of security but this is a little different. "We alright but we have not even got to being cool yet. Slow down baby girl." I can image how women must feel. You have that conversation about where you work and the next day you get flowers. Maybe, he shows up for a surprise lunch date. Your response might be "WTF!" His reasoning might be, "just wanted to do something nice for you." The intentions are great but you have not decided if you like him or not. 

Meeting new people and dating is basically like rolling dice, more often than not you end up with snake eyes. If the first date goes alright, you go on a second date to roll your point back. By the third date you have crapped out and have to start all over again. It's not easy to roll that 7 or 11 but not impossible. You may have to crap out a few times before you hit. 

For those who don't get the dice reference, Just keep dating. You are going to have great dates and bad dates hopefully you meet "The One" 

The Break Up! Part 4

It’s been 3 weeks. She still crosses my mind. I never imagined that she could have me like this. All the women before her came and went. In the past I could have another one at your crib within a couple of nights. When we first started dating, she was “The One” in my eyes. I guess we got to the stage where we could no longer send in our representations. The days of me trying to act like she does not make me smile when she gives me that look. The days of her being in tuned to what I really want and need are replaced with her wants and needs. When we first met, we stayed up late talking on the phone. Every place we went we had a good time. We could have went to the laundry mat and we would have had a great time. "Damn, am I’m trippin?"  Reality has set in, I realize that now I’m alone. Sure, there are going to be times where I really miss her. Times when I’m driving in the car and hear "The Song". You know, the one that every time you hear it reminds you of them. It was our song. Now when I scroll through my phone I read old text messages and look through old pictures if I have not deleted them. I might even go to her name in the contact log. Stare at for a few minutes. I debate on if I should call or not. Should I send a text message? Should I just delete the number? I've gone through nights that it just seemed impossible to fall asleep. I start to think of ways that it could have been different. If I had did this, then maybe...
"I’m trippin again"
It's time to stop dwelling on what I can't change. I've got to get my swag back. Mentally I have to push myself in the right direction. Phone rings

Calvin: what's good?
Me: I’m chillin, what’s up?
Calvin: What you trying to do?
Me: I'm trying to get me one, where they at?
Calvin: Man, I got two on deck that want to hang out.
Me: how she looking
Calvin: she ready!
Me: Already.

This will surely put you know who out of my mind at least for the night. They say the best way to get over someone is to get a new someone.

The Break UP! Part 1

  "I just can’t do this anymore!" As the words leave my mouth, I study her facial expression. At first, she is stumped on the toe with confusion. “What happened?” She wants to know where this is coming from. To her, we were a happy two days ago. That’s the biggest problem. She just does not get it. She lets out a slight giggle. “you playin right?” "I’m done!" Her facial expression changes. She is punched in the stomach with anger. She calls me names that are familiar to female dogs, names often referring to the female anatomy, names that would suggest that I only like to have sex with someone's mother. My favorite coffee mug whistles past my ear. It’s a good thing that I was on my toes. I quickly mouth that famous five letter word that no woman likes to hear.  I can’t say it aloud just yet. She is still throwing objects. Although, they are not aimed at me directly, I still feel the vibration of the sound when it hits the wall. I’m thinking to myself, who throws coaster? She then walks over to me. I try to brace myself for the assault on my chest. She is swinging fist after fist.  I’ve got to stay firm. "It's over!" Now she is slapped in the face with sadness. The tears roll down her face. She continues the assault on my chest but this time she is crying so hard that she can’t continue. She realizes that this really could be the end. Her body slumps and the tears continue to flow. A part of me wants to console her. The other part knows that if I don’t build my strength now, I may continue this cycle where I keep giving and she keeps taking my emotional personification for granted. The battle of my heart and my head wages on. Evan after the things in my home are destroyed, objects are thrown at my head, and my chest bruised for a couple of days, I still can’t deny that my love for this woman is deep. Meanwhile, she reminds me of what I’m giving up. “We are good together. How are you going to throw away all those great moments?” She thrust me back to all those great moments. I keep telling myself to stay strong. She moves in closer, I want to sweep her up in my arms and tell her that I will love her till the end of time. My mind will not let my body move. With tears rolling down her face she looks up at me and says, “Is this really the end of us?” With my head racing and palms sweating, I tell her, “Yes, but I don’t love you any less.” I tell her that we are just not a good fit for each other. That this marathon that we are running was meant for 26 miles not the 13 she was only willing to run. She tells me that at times she has to stop and catch her breath but she intends to finish all 26. That sounds good but I let her know that I have had to catch my breath as well but yet and still we are miles apart. I have even tried to slow down so that she could catch up. Still miles apart. Now we both are standing there awkwardly, her crying and me trying not to embrace her. After what must have seemed like hours of awkwardness, she picks up her purse and heads towards the door. Tears continue to roll down her face. My head and my heart continue to wage war as I watch her walk towards the door.

"It doesn't matter to me"

I wonder how many men have had that conversation with the female gender.

Male: where would you like to go eat?

Female: it doesn't matter to me

Male: ok we will go to such and such

Female: no, I don't like that 

Male: so where do you want to go then?

Female: oh, I don't know, it doesn't matter.

Ladies, we ask these questions for a reason. For us, we can eat at our local burger joint but we know that you guys would not approve. When a man asks you to go anywhere, he has to make it a unisex activity. He is probably not going to invite you out to the sports bar to watch the game. Unless he knows that's your thing.

These are some remedies that "may" be able to help this situation:

Fellas, maybe ask where she does not want to go. Lol.

Ladies, tell him what type of activity you don't want to participate in.

Fellas, do a little more research about things going on in your city. 

Ladies, learn to be patience with him because at the end of the day he just wants to spend a little quality time with you. Last thing ladies, if you care where you guys go, then don't say things like, "It does not matter to me"

Last thing fellas, if she says, "it does not matter to me", it really does matter and you should be prepared to throw out more than one option.